Ali's Adventures

September 11, 2011

what am i doing wrong?

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Alison @ 8:49 pm

Why am I never the one she chooses?  Why doesn’t she pick me? What am I doing wrong?
My daughter spent the majority of my sister’s wedding hanging off one of the bridesmaids. She held her hand to dance, she asked her to carry her when she was tired. If I asked my little girl if she wanted to dance, I was ignored. She wasn’t interested in what I had to offer. And now tonight, after an emotional outburst due to overtiredness, she’s crying out for my sister’s friend. I tried to comfort her, but was asked to leave.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of never being the favourite. Tired of having my open arms in the morning pushed away. Tired of being rejected by a 5-year-old.

Does she not feel comforted by me? Am I not fun enough with her? I am not showing her enough love? Why does my little girl, who is so important to me, act like everyone else is more important than me?

Is there a way I can make this better? I’m working on my patience and trying to be gentler in my voice and attitude. I hope this isn’t permanent, I hope that next time I’m the one she wants to dance with.

 And I just lost my temper, there was screaming and door slamming. I can see why she doesn’t want to be with me, I don’t like me much either. I need to be a better mother, she deserves more than this.

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3 Comments »

  1. Don’t beat yourself up. I am sure this is just a phase and soon enough you’ll be a favourite again, because, you are her mom and you are always there for her.

    Comment by Krista - The Tech Mom — September 12, 2011 @ 5:07 pm |Reply

  2. That’s hard. And I totally understand losing it. I would too.

    My girl will happily go to other people, eat their snacks, cuddle them and sit on their laps. I tell myself that it is because she knows that I am always here, that’s why she is so happy to go off to other people.

    Do you think, and this is just me wondering out loud here, that part of her rejecting you is because she can? This totally seems to be the age where they test their “powers”. I see it a lot at the park. Kids rejecting other kids, even ones they are friends with, just to see what happens. And because they can.

    Hugs.

    Comment by Brie — September 12, 2011 @ 5:36 pm |Reply

  3. Oh hon. It’s not you. You are a wonderful mother – I see it every time you’re with your kids.
    Kids are designed to push us to our limits I think 😉 They are the most badly behaved for us, they want to climb all over us when we just want to be alone and want nothing to do with us when we want them near.
    She loves you, she’s just a 5 year old girl figuring it all out. Don’t doubt yourself – you’re awesome. Just keep being there and keep offering and don’t worry if you lose it some time. We all do.

    Comment by Lara — September 16, 2011 @ 9:45 am |Reply


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